War
by Cadissy-Kun
Summary: All Alfred wanted was freedom. He wanted to do as he pleased without being judged. Ofcourse he knew that being free was exactly free... but he never knew how much the price was for being free.
1. Revolution

War

Chapter 1: Revolution

All I wanted was to be free. I wanted freedom so I could do as I please without that jerk always on my case. Little did I know... how big the price for freedom was.

"Alfred!" I heard a familier voice yell. When I opened my eyes, I saw my brother sitting there, a worried look on his face. "Alfred!" He yelled again. "Are you okay? You were crying in you're sleep again!". I sat up, scratching my head softly. "Yeah Mattie... I'm fine. Don't worry about me~!" I faked a huge, idiotic smile. My brother sighed, then smiled himself. "Alright... But if you need anything, I'm in the room next door... Okay?" He asked quietly. "Yeah yeah... I get it. Go on back to your room. You're cutting in on my personal space, man!" I said, pushing him off my bed. "Alright... Goodnight Alfred." He mummbled as he shut the door. I sighed. "Why do I keep dreaming about... that time..." I mummbled as I stared at my floor. It's been... I don't know... like... 235 years since that day? Why couldn't I just get over it? I mean... I'm being so childish! I shake my head. "Ahrrg! I need to calm down!" I stand from my bed, then start to pace. "That guy was a stiff! He always wanted me to dress properly and eat that nasty cooking of his. Those bushey eyebrows of his REALLY creeped me out, he was always such a downer, he always scolded me for stupid things... and yet..." I pause, looking away. "I miss him so much... AHRG! What's wrong with me?" I yell. Though I was drowzy and not really aware of my surroundings, it was true that I missed him. He was Arthur. He was supposed to be like... My big brother. Yet when I finally got old enough to run my country... he started taxing the hell out of me! And he barely paid any real attention to me. He was too busy with Fraincis... I wasn't jelous though. Definatly not. Why would I want that stiff nagging me all the time? Still... I was a little pissed that he didnt even treat me like a brother anymore. And that idiot even told me I couldn't leave him! What an ass! He spends all his time nagging Fraincis... and when I tell him i wanna leave.. he says I can't? What a control freak. I left him anyways...I may have caused myself and alot of others years of pain and misery... and death... but hey! We got our independace, right? Why is it that I missed his smile so much? "Alfred! Go to sleep! We have a world meeting tomorrow!" I heard Matthew yell though the door. "Alright Mattie..." I say with a sigh. I lay back onto my bed and close my eyes. I hoped to never have that dream again.

When I woke up again it was like.. 10 AM. I was too tired to even move. Although I was NOT a morning person... my brother, Matthew, was the complete opposite. "Alfred, Get up! If you don't hurry, we're gonna be late!" he yelled through the door. "Uhhhg.. I know that so shut up Matt..." I manage to mummble as I rolled over onto my stomach. I forced myself to get out of my bed and get dressed and all that. I quickly put on a plain suit and tugged on my blazer. "Uhhg... I need coffee or something... I feel horrible." I rubbed my eyes, sighing. "I don't even wanna see Arthur right now..." I mummbled. That nightmare lasted all through the rest of the night. Playing that scene over and over again... _"Come now... Tell me this is all a joke... and I'll take you home"_ His voice echoed in my head. _"This isn't a joke, Arthur. Just let me go. Give me my independance. That's all I want from you now. I'm not a little kid, nor am I you're little brother. I don't need you anymore, Arthur."_. I winced at my own words. How could I be so cruel to him? The man that raised me... made me the person I am today... I could still remember the look on his face when I said those things. Loneliness. Thats what he felt at that moment. Those 5 seconds before he broke down crying. I slapped my cheeks to wake myself up. "Calm down Alfred. Thats all history. You're still the hero, act like one!" I yelled. I smiled at myself, then pranced out of my room to grab somthing to eat before the long worl meeting.


	2. Jealousy

War

Chapter 2 : Jealousy

I quickly guzzled down a coke. Matthew just looked at me, frowning. "That such a horrible breakfast Alfred.." He mummbles. He just could't let go of that nasty habbit. "We're in a hurry, right? We don't have time to make a 'good' breakfast." I snapped. I didn't like just having soda either.. but hey, there wasn't much else I could make on my own. He used to make everything for me... I shook my head. "You will NOT think of him anymore today! It'll only make everything akward!" I yelled in my head. "Even so..." My paranoid brother mummbled. "Just let it go. We're late any how, lets hurry." I snapped again. I had my mind on other things... defiantly not Arthur... to worry about. I didn't wanna concern myself with eating good and having to be late to this important meeting! I had come up with the like... GREATEST plan EVER! It was totally awesome, and I was totally gonna impress everyone with it. Not like I was trying to impress everyone... especially not Arthur... Why would I want to?

Even though I'm the greatest driver ever, Matthew refused to let me drive to the meeting. "You drive much fast... even if we're late theres no need to rush that much. I swear... you need to relax!" Matthew scolded me as he got in the car, on the drivers side. "Dude... theres no way I could ever be as relaxed as you. I don't know what you're secret is! You're just... I dunno. And we're like, really, really late! We need to hurry! Lemmie drive! Com'on, Com'on, Com'on~!" I whined. All this whining and such was just a way to get Arthur off my mind. It wasn't working. "That stupid nightmare!" I thought. "Everytime I think it over... I want to just punch myself in the face... How could I have been so stupid to say those things...?". The rest of the ride, I was completely silent. I was lost in my thoughts of Arthur and myself.

Even when we got there, that stupid war was still on my mind. "I hate that war... I wish it never happend... Being 'free' isn't even so great... its so fricken' hard running my own country!" I mummbled. I stepped out of the car, only to see Arthur. He wasn't alone. "Come on _mon ami~_. Why won't you kiss me~?" His old friend, Francis, whinned. I felt my stomch turn. Something about Francis really pissed me off. "I just won't! Get that through you're bloody head!" Arthur yelled. "Come on... You weren't this shy last night...~" Francis said, slipping an arm around Arthur. I felt sick as I watched Arthur's face grow red. "Sh-shut up you bloody idiot! Don't say that kind of thing out loud! Especially not _here_..." Arthur screamed at Francis. Francis just smirked. "Fine, fine _mon ami_." He said, removing his arm from around Arthur. They looked over in my direction and I looked away quickly. I felt like throwing up or something. Why though? I hadn't eaten anything since the day before... I turned away and ran into the building. I couldn't take looking them anymore.


	3. The World Meeting

War

Chapter 3: The World Meeting

Even as a sat down and waited for the others to get there, I felt sick. I kept glacing over at Arthur and Francis, and I don't really know why, but I wanted to hit both of them. Being so flirty in the morning... it was disgusting. "Come on, you guys! Get a room!" I laughed. I didn't feel like laughing, but I had expectations to keep. "Shut your bloody mouth, you git!" Arthur yelled to me in his thick, british accent. I really liked that accent. "Calm down Artie. No need to get embarrased." I said, smirking. His face turned red. He looked...cute. "I-I'm not embarrased you idiot! W-why would I be embarrased? I-I.." He rambled on and on. He looked... really.. cute. I mentally hit myself. "D-don't think like that, you perv! He's a _guy_... more over... he'd your ex-_brother_...That's like... totally gross man!" I thought, blushing lightly. "What ever you say man... but that red face of yours says differently." I said with a grin. "My face isn't red, your bloody, blind, idiot! I-It's just... hot! It's really hot in here..!" Arthur screamed at me, and he was about to go on until Francis pulled him back down to his seat. They whispered to each other and Arthurs face turned that... totally uncute... shade of red again. Francis was obviously saying something perverted. What a creep... I honestly don't see what Arthur saw in him.

I watched as other countries poured in. I waved at Antonio and Gilbert, who walked in together. They didn't notice, since they were laughing too hard about god-knows-what. I saw Ivan walk in and sit next to my blushing brother. I knew Mattie had a crush on that creepy Russian guy. I have no I dea why... he scared the hell out of me... but I guess it doesn't matter. Though Ivan didn't seem to notice Matthew... he seemed happy. I saw Feli and that stoic german he hangs out with. I saw them talking with Kiku, so I waved at them too. Kiku waved back, akwardly, much to the curiocity of his friends. I frowned. I didn't really.. have any friends. I guess before I hadn't really noticed but.. I didn't really hang out with anyone. I really just sit around and annoy the shit out of people. I shrugged off the lonely feeling I felt creeping up my spine and sighed. I waited for the others to get in, then I started the long, pointless meeting.

Now ofcourse... throught out the first part of the meeting, I was talking about a rational solution to one of this worlds... many... problems. Ofcourse... just to be difficult Arthur had to argue with me and then Francis started flirting with him and I got pissed so I yelled at them. Then somehow Yao got caught up in the argument and it ended up with Ludwig screaming at us to shut up. Then he just got all mad and pulled Feli out of the room. "I guess this means to meetings over..." I said, looking around the room. I wondered why we were so argumenetive with one another. It's not like we all hated each other... I stood up from my seat and looked at Matthew. He was staring at Ivan, who was just sitting there and being super fucking creepy. I sighed and looked over to Arthur who, surprisingly, was sitting alone. "Where's Francey-pants?" I asked. Arthurs emerald eyes looked up at me in a half-glare. "Why should you care? And what gives you the impression that I would know where that wine-loving pervert wandered off to. He's probably flirting with one of the maids again or something." He said in a harsh tone. "You aren't dating?" I asked, half-joking. "Of course not, you git! Just because he's suddenly taken an interest in flirting with me doesn't mean I jumped at the chance to sleep with him." He grumbled. A wave of relief ran through me. Don't ask why... I don't know either.


	4. Confusion

War

Chapter 4: Confusion

"Ah.. I see.. I just assumed you guys were... you know... 'cause you were so flirty" I joked. I felt better knowing they weren't together. Not 'cause I wanted to be with Arthur or anything. That's gross... Right..? "Well, as you can see, we aren't. I'd rather kiss _you_ than be with that frog longer than an hour." Arthur said with a sigh. I felt myself blush. "You... you really mean that?" I asked shyly. "Ofcourse. That pervet disgusts me more than the thought of you eating those damn grease filled buns you call burgers." He said, half glaing at me. As hurtful as it was ment to be... I still took it as a compliment. "Why don't you give it a try..?" I mummbled. "What? What do you mean you bloody idiot?" He snapped. "A.. kiss.." I nearly whispered. I quickly put my hand over my mouth, feeling me face get extreamly hot. "I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean that at all!" I shouted. I quickly turned away and rushed out. I didn't bother to get my brother. He seemed content with sitting next to Ivan anyways.

"Whats wrong with me?" I shouted in my head. I was in the bathoom, looking at myself in the mirror. I splashed water on my face. "I didn't even mean to say that! I just.. came out... but.. why?". Why do I feel this way though. This wasn't the first time I had gotten like this. I get all strange like this everytime I think of that damn war. I feel like.. theres something I need to rememeber. Something I had forgotten.. I think it might have been important. I took a deep breath. "Calm down Alfred. You're just stressed out 'cause you're thinking of the past. Just stop thinking about it... and you'll feel better." I said to myself. Thank GOD no one was in there with me. They'd all think I was crazy.

I walked out of the bathroom, only to find a short, blonde, blushing englishman glaring at me. "What the hell did you mean by that you bloody yankee?" He screamed. I was a bit surprised. not expecting him to scream at me right after I got out. "Uhm... What?" I grinned akwardly. "You know what! You with that - 'Why don't you try? A KISS~!' What was that.. and then you ran away? What's your problem? Are you trying to tease me?" I couldn't really keep up with all his screaming. And he added WAY too much exaggeration on that 'A kiss' part. "Well... Yeah. I was trying to tease you. Don't be so stuck-up, Arttie. Take a joke sometimes." I grinned. He glared at me, and I felt myself wince at it. "Jeeze Arttie.. calm down.. I didn't mean to upset y-" I was quickly interupted by Arthurs lips crashing onto mine. Everything went so quickly, I couldn't even think.


	5. Disappointment

War

Chapter 5: Disappointment

I was suddenly taken back by Arthur's kiss... but it didn't really take long 'till I responded. The kiss felt... right. I didn't really know why he kissed me or if this was supposed to be another nightmare... but I liked it. Alot. Arthur pulled back, panting. I guess he wasn't really used to kissing for that long. Looking at his cute, blushing face made me blush. "There. I _tried _it. Happy?" He glared up at me. I felt confused. "What are you talking about?" I said. Arthur just sighed and made the hand gesture of shooing me away. "You know..the whole "try kissing me" thing. Anyways, I'm sure you're about as disgusted as me. Get away from me before I end up kicking your yankee ass." he said, disregarding the fact that I was much stronger and could beat him in any fight. "That was... to prove a point..?" I mummbled. He didn't hear me, but I'm sure he saw my disappointed face. I just turned and left. "He was _disgusted_. The look on his face... he was truely _disgusted_. The worst part is.. I liked it..." I thought. I felt sick. I finally realized that I ..loved.. him. And I was already rejected before I could tell him. How pitiful. I walked quickly over to my brother, who was in the middle of being _ignored_ by Ivan, and forced him up. "We're leaving Mattie. Let's go." I glared at the ground. "W-why? What happened Alfred?" He asked, worried. "Nothing. Atleast.. nothing I can talk about _here_.." I snapped. I couldn't stand it anymore. I _needed_ to go home. Badly. "Alright Alfred..." Matthew said. He waved an un-noticed goodbye to Ivan and headed for the door. "Thanks.." I mummbled. I not only felt sick.. I felt like _crying_. I couldn't let these jerks see me, the hero of the world, cry. They would never let me live it down. As I got to the car, I saw Arthur walking out with Francis. Great. Something to make me feel even better. "Wha! What is the matter _mon ami_?" Francis asked with that disgusting accent. "Are you... crying?" Arthur said, a devilish grin comming onto his face. "Fuck" I thought. "Hell no, stupid. I feel sick. I need to get home and eat something to get the taste of those nasty scones you eat out of my mouth. The thought of that kiss is pretty gross too.." I said, smirking at him. "What am I saying?" I thought. "I don't mean this at all! His kiss was wonderful! I'd eat all the scones in the world to have another... " I shouted in my head. I kept my face straight. "Whaa? _Kiss_~? Did you two kiss~?" Francis said, hugging Arthur. "You'll kiss that stupid american, but you won't kiss _me_?" He said, childishly. He sounded like an idiot. More of one than I ever did. "It was only to prove a point... nothing more. Maybe he'll think twice about teasing me next time." He shot me a glare. I glared right back. I was angry at him. Even if he didn't know it... he had crushed my heart. All within a miniute.

"Well, before I get sick, I'm gonna go. See you losers later~" I waved as I turned and got into the car. Matthew fell alseep in the passangers seat, so I drove. "Disgusting" I said. "He thinks I am... disgusting.". I hit my fist against the wheel as I drove. "This isn't fair!" I screamed. Thank god my brother was a deep sleeper. If he had woken up, he would have seen my ugly crying face. I was crying so hard, I couldn't really see what I was doing. Normally when I cry while I'm driving (ofcourse that doesn't happen very often), I crash. It was a mirical when we got home safely. I quickly woke my brother up and hurried inside. I needed to ask a question. There was only one person in the entire world that I could ask this question, and they wouldn't tell a soul, nor flip out. "Yo, Kiku. 'Sup man?" I laughed into the phone. I could hear the quiet japanese man gasp into his phone. "A-ah! Hello, Alfred-san. How are you today?" he asked quickly, trying to be polite. "I'm great man, but I didn't call to have daily convo. I need to ask you somethin'. Promise you won't tell?" I said. I could easily tell Kiku was troubled. I didn't care. This was something super important. "Sure.. Alfred-san.. What is it?" he asked in nearly a whisper. Now that I was going to tell him, I felt a bit nervous. What if he didn't keep his promise? What if he _told_ all the countries? They'd all be disgusted with me! "Well uh... Do you.. uhm... Think it's wrong for a... you know... for a guy to uh... love... another.. guy?" I mummbled embarrasedly. I guess he heard me because I could hear him gasp again. Kiku cleared his throat. "Well... Alfred-san... I guess I don't really think it's wrong or anything. In my country, we have many people who support that kind of thing. We have a whole manga genre dedicated to it. Yaoi.. is what its called... Why do you ask? Do you know someone who likes another man?" I sighed in relief. "Uh, yeah. He really likes a friend of his. They used to be very close but my friend did something really stupid and caused them to lessen their friendship. He's finally realized that he loves his friend, but he's scared to tell him because he thinks the other guy will laugh at him or get s disgusted, he won't want to be around him anymore. He ... uh... came to me for advice but I didn't know what to tell him. So.. what should I say?" I lied. I couldn't tell him that I was the one who was in love with another guy. He'd probably get grossed out. "You should tell him to tell that person that he likes him. Even if he gets rejected, he'll regret never telling him if he gets taken away by someone else." he replied. "Ah..Thanks, man! I'll tell him.. see ya!" I hung up. "Okay! I'll tell him tonight! I'll drive over to his house and tell him. Even if he calls me gross.. I guess it won't really matter." I smiled. I was really excited.

I spent the rest of the day deciding on what to say, wear, and bring. Around 6 PM, I was ready to leave. "Mattie! I'm heading out for a while, so you can eat dinner without me! I'll pick up something on the way." I yelled to my brother who was in the middle of fixing something for our dinner. I knew he was disappointed to eat alone, but this was important. I looked out the window, getting the keys to the car. "Strange" I said. "It's so cloudy... I was sunny before.. Oh well. That doesn't mean anything." I walked out, got into the car, and drove off.

Since I'm a country, and not a human, it's was easier for me to get to Arthur's house. Even so... it was still a long fucking drive! It took like... 3 hours! It was already 9 when I got there. "Damn... I should have left earlier. The weather was getting worse... it really looked like rain. I shrugged and walked up to the door. I nervously knocked and waited. It felt like a year had passed when the door finally opened. "Hey Arthur, theres something I need to-" I was cut off by a gasp. The gasp wasn't comming from Arthur. There stood at the doorway was a shirtless Francis, looking a bit tired. "What are _you_ doing here?" He asked with a harsh tone. "Thats what I should be asking." I said, glaring at him. An embarrased Arthur came running up and he pushed Francis out of the way. "S-sorry Alfried... What are you doing here though? Do you know what time it is?" he said, sighing. "Sorry for comming so late but... why is he here? I thought you hated him? You said you didn't even want to spend even an hour with him..." My voice trailed off. His face grew red. "Not that is is of your concern... I'll tell you anyways. You see... Francis and I... well.. " He leaned close to me, and I blushed. I don't think he noticed though. "I kinda slept with Francis..." he whispered. I stood there, motionless. Speechless. Thoughtless. Finally, I broke our silence. "You did WHAT?" I screamed in whisper. I didn't want Francis to know about our convorsation. "Shut it, you bloody idoit! Calm down. I don't really understand.. but he seemed so kind and.. it just sorta happened. I know I told you I hated him but.. I think I love him." He said, his cute face bright red. I was horrifide. "Oh.." was the only that that would come out of my mouth. "I'm gonna be sorry about what I'm going to say..." I thought. I sighed, and looked at Arthur. "Good for you! I'm sure that you've really liked Francis for a while, but your only noticing now. I hope you guys are aable to be happy together and..." my voiced trailed off as a tear ran down my cheek. "Shit" I thought. "I.. uh.. I gotta go! G-Goodbye Arthur!" I said, turning away. I ran into the rain and I kept running.

"No." I thought. "No... This can't be happening! This is a nightmare!" I shouted in my head. "Him and Francis.. together... thats.. Thats not fair! He doesnt even _love_ Arthur! And even if he does, he doesnt love hi nearly as much as I do.." I said. I stopped running on the sidewalk beside a road. There were very few cars out. "Damn that stupid war! If only I had never had started it! I would have never realized my feelings and I wouldn't feel like this!" I shouted. "Why did I even start that damn thing anyways?" Suddenly, the meories I tried so hard to forget came flooding back in. "Thats right.." I said. "I wanted to be seperate.. so i could love him. So I could tell him I loved him.. without being judged. I was jelouse of Francis.. because he got all of Arthur's attention... Some time through out the war.. I forgot all of these things.. I had loved him from the start.." I said with a sigh. Suddenly I hear a voice comming up behind me. "Alfred! Alfred! What did you want, you idoit! Your gonna pay for making me run after you like this!" Arthur yelled, panting. He was crossing the road when I saw the truck comming. When he noticed, he froze like a deer infront of headlights. "Look out!" I shouted. I pushed Arthur out of the road quickly. When I finally felt the impact of the truck, everything around me went black.


	6. Memory

War

Chapter 6: Memory

When I woke up, I was in a hosplital. _"What happened...?"_ I thought. I couldn't see clearly at all. My had was pounding. I felt horrible. I could feel bandages around my head and left eye. I looked around the blurry room. I could barely make out a blonde haired man. His eyes were... green? "Uhhhg... what happened?" I tried to sit up, but my head only pounded more and my body felt even more sore. "Don't move you bloody idiot!' The man yelled. _"Man... this guy has a harsh way of talking."_ I thought. I felt something warm and wet hit my hand. _"Is he... crying?"_ I thought. I looked around the room again and saw another blonde beside him. He wore glasses and I think his eyes were blue. _"Is that.. a curl comming off his head?" _I thought. I suddenly felt someone place something onto my face. This one had a thick french accent. "That idiot... jumping in front of a truck like that. I'm glad he saved you, Arthur, but to actually get hit... _mon Dieu_..." The man said. I blinked a few times to get used to the glasses that were placed onto my face. Though the room and everyones face was now clear.. I still could not recognize any of them. _"Who are these people.."_ I thought. "Hey! You be nice! He saved my life! He's much stronger and braver than I... so he lived. Had I been the one hit.. Theres no way I could have lived.. And you! I bet you wouldn't have saved me! You'd have been to afraid that your 'perfect' face would have been ruined! You'd have left me die!" The enghlishman screamed at the other. "That's not true! I would have saved you, and I wouldn't have gotten hit like this idiot..!" The frenchman shouted back. "Just... Just shut the hell up!" I shouted at them. I sure did regret that. My head started to pound even more and my body felt as if it were on fire. I clutched my head in my heads. I felt sick. "C-calm down Alfred!" the third blonde said. _"Alfred? Who is that? Are they talking about... me?"_ I thought. The pain slowly died down and I set my head back onto the pillow. "I told you not to move you stupid idiot!" The englishman yelled. I could clearly see the regret painted on his face. I felt bad for him. _"This guy.. is really harsh with his words..."_ I thought. "Fine Fine.. I'm an idiot... but would you guys mind telling me who you are? You look familiar but.. I can't quite say where I've seen you guys..." I said. The third blonde and the englishman looked at me in horror. "Don't play around now, Alfred! You know who I am. I'm Arthur, remember? I used to be your older brother... Come on now Alfred! This isn't the time for one of your stupid jokes!" The englishman yelled. "I'm not joking!" I yelled. "I'm sorry, but I really don't know you!". "Do you really not remember me..? I'm Matthew.. your twin brother..?" he said quietly. He looked so crushed. I felt bad for him too... "Huh~? Oh Alfred, how could you forget about _me_~?" The frenchman asked. This guy really seemed to piss me off. "It seems you guys have figured it out" said the doctor, who was just comming in. "Alfred here seems to have lost his memory.". "Lost his memory?" Arthur yelled. "Oh god... this is all my fault! If I hadn't run after him so carelessly... He'd be..." He started to cry again. Watching him be so upset... it made me feel horrid. "Did he... really forget.. everything?" Matthew asked in a quiet voice. "Ofcourse he did! The doctor just said so!" The frenchman yelled in a as-a-matter-of-factly tone. "Shut up, Francis!" Matthew almost yelled. "Everyone calm down. The more stress you cause Alfred, the worse his condition will get." The doctor said calmly.

"I'm sorry for interupting... but I don't really understand whats going on. What happened? Why am I here?" I asked. "Ah... right.. you would be pretty confused right now. Well, you saved your friend here and you got hit by a speeding truck. The hit gave you a concussion. Though there wasn't any severe brain damage, you did lose your memory. About regainging your memory.. that will take a very long time. Don't expect to go home and remember everything. Really, don't expect to remember anything. This will take a few months to a few years. If you even regain your memory. I can't promise you will. Other than that, you've also taken some damage to your left eye. That will heal in a few weeks, so don't worry about that. Other than that, you've also broken your leg. So you'll need a little help getting around. your friends should help you there. I'd like to keep you here for about a week to do some testing on your brain to make sure its okay. After that, unless theres somthing wrong, you can go home." He said. "Oh.. alright." I said. I still didn't fully understand.. but I guess thats okay. I'm sure they'll explain again. I looked over at Arthur, who was crying again. "I-I'm so sorry Alfred... if I hadn't chased you.. if I could have protected myself... you wouldn't be like this.." he said, his voice shaking. Watching him be so upset... it made me sad. "Don't worry Arthur. I'm fine. You must have been pretty important to me.. for me to have done that for you." I smiled and put a hand on his cheek softly for comfort. "Don't worry about me. I'm just glad to see that you're alright..". "Alright? What are you talking about? When you pushed him out of the way, he hit the ground and scratched his face up!" Francis yelled. I pulled my hand away and then i saw all the bandages on his face. "Oh... I'm so sorry Arthur.." I said. "No No! Its okay! You saved my life after all... and compared to you, I'm perfectly fine! You shut your mouth, you frog face! Don't make him feel bad when he doesn't have to feel that way!" Arthur screamed. "But you got hurt! If he was trying to protect you, then he wouldn't have let you get hurt!" Francis argued back. "Okay, Okay. Stop it. Alfred needs to rest. Why don't you guys go home, get some sleep, and you can visit Alfred again tomorow." The doctor said, seeing my distress. Francis was the first to leave. "Fine, Fine! I don't even know why I came in the first place!" He yelled as he walked out. My brother came up to he with a worried look on his face. "You know.. I'll do anything for you. Your my brother and.. I want to help you in anyway I can. So if theres anything you need... just ask me, okay?" he asked in a worried tone. I smiled. "Okay.. Thank you so much Matthew.. You're so kind.." I pat him on the head. When I looked at his face, I saw a pained expression. "The old Alfred... would never have said that..." he mumbled. I don't think I was supposed to hear that. I pulled my hand away and he walked out. Next was Arthur. "D-don't you think that just because your brother will be helping you, that means I won't help out too. If he's ever unable to do soemthing for you, you just ask me. I'll do anything. _Anything_." He said. Somehow.. I doubted he would really do anything. He left soon after, turning back before he walked out. I could clearly see the regret and pitty he had for me. It made me feel sick. I didn't like being looked at like that by him. I don't know why. Maybe it had something to do with my old self?

Days past, others came and went. Matthew and Arthur were my most frequient visiters. Others like Feliciano, Kiku, and Ludwig came too. They didn't stay long... I guess they weren't really my friends. Soon enough, it was time for me to go home.

"Matthew couldn't come today, so he asked if I could help you get home." Arthur said. I nodded. I felt bad that still after all the time I spent learning about my old life.. I still couldn't remember anything. I could tell that Arthur was still regreting that night that I saved him. He hid it pretty well... but I could see right through him. "Have you been getting any better lately." He asked. He was helping me to his car. "Yeah.. Mr. Edelstein said my eye will heal completely in a few days. And my leg is much better now. Still broken, but it doesnt hurt as bad anymore." I said. I was trying to act like my old self, but I can't seem to keep up that idiotic attitude I used to have. Why did I act like that I wonder? Arthur helped me into my house. "Jeeze... this place is a mess! You never liked to clean I guess..." Arthur said sighing. "Here.. I'll help you clean up.". He walked me to my room, then helped me sit on my bed. After that, he started to clean my messy room. I looked around. It wasn't really fair to let him do all the work. Broken leg or not, I needed to help. I started to organize the desk next to my bed. As I was organizing, I found a strange book in a crack in the wall behind my lamp. _"What's this..?"_ I thought. I looked at the cover. _"America's Journal! (You better not look at this England! You either France!)? Why would I have such a weird book..?"_.

(WELP! Yes I DID make Austria a doctor x3~ This would have turned out much better, but my computer shut down before I could save so I have to rewrite it from memory... ;A; Well... its okay. )


	7. Little Book

War

Chapter 7: Little Book

It was a small book. Probably ment for a child to use. It was extreamly tattered and dusty... I guess who's ever book this was must have forgotten it was there. It didn't seem like mine. I guess I knew someone named... _America_? They hadn't come to see me... so I'm not sure who it was. I looked through the old, tattered pages. "_This was definatly written by a child..._" I thought. The hand writing was horrible. There were so many mistakes in the sentences, it was hard to read. I managed though. "_October 31st, 1612: Today is holloween! England is throwing a party, and even France is invited! I was so surprised... England never ever lets France over. And he never thorws partys. And... even if he did noone would come. Everyone thinks Englands cooking is bad. The only reason anyone comes over is to see me. I feel bad for England... Hes so nice but no one ever gives him a chance. England says that I can dress up as anything I want to be. He says hes gonna be a vampier. Hes gonna look super cool! End of note._" "Geeze... this is horrible..." I said. Arthur looked over, a bit confused. "Huh? What are you talking about, Alfred?" He said. "This... America's journal. It's so confusing..." I replied. He looked away, a bit sad. Maybe he knew this America guy. "You know him?" I asked. He quickly looked up at me, and he shook his head. "N-No! Ofcourse not, stupid. Why would I know someone named America?" I said, laughign akwardly. He was hiding something. Definaltly. I shurgged and kept reading. After a moment, I started to only skim. "_All this guy wants to talk about is that England guy.._" I thought. "_September 15th, 1723- Arthur hasn't really been paying attention to me lately. He keeps making me pay him when ever he gives me stuff, and it's pissing me off. He's paying so much attention to that France guy... I'm so jealous. I wish Arthur would care about me like he does France... I bet I love Arthur 10 times more than that jerk. Its just not fair... Arthur only sees me as his little brother. Just as a kid.. I'm not a kid anymore... I'm an adult now. I wish he'd see that... and I wish he'd see that my feelings for him aren't of a brother. End of note_" I sighed, looking at the page. "_Arthur? Could that be Arthur Kirkland?_" I thought, skipping a few pages. "_December 16th, 1773- I got mad at Arthur today. He looked really upset. He tried to give me some tea, and I was happy. But he told me I had to pay him, I got mad and slapped the tea away. I broke the cup. That cup was a special cup... it was the one Arthur gave me. He looked very hurt... I think I want to become my own country. If I was my own country, I could tell him I loved him. He'd be forced to see that I wasn't a child. I wouldn't be his brother anymore... And I could tell him my feelings. I hope he'll just let me go.. I'd hate to go at war with him._". I frowned at the page. This seemed... familiar. "Hey Arthur... you say you don't know him but he seems to really love you..." I said, glancing over at him. I saw him hide his blush. "W-what are you talking about? That idiot hated me!" He yelled. "Nuh uh... He keeps saying he loves you." I replied. How could he think that? "Show me!" He said, walking over to me. I handed him the journal and I watched him as he read. You know... Arthur doesn't seem like the type to show his true emotions to anyone. I don't know if thats how he really is but...He just seems like.. He'd never cry unless something really bad happened. I guess I was wrong.

He quickly snapped the book shut and he threw it to the other side of the room. "Don't read anymore of that, Alfred. Don't worry about it. It means nothing. You should get some rest. your leg is still broken.." He said, forcing me to lie back onto my bed. "Sleep. I'll be out in the living room. If you need me, just shout. I'll come." He said, turning away. "Arthur.." I said. He turned and looked at me. "What is it Alfred?" He asked in an annoied tone. I reached up and wiped his face. "Don't cry anymore, okay?" I said, sighing. He glared at me, blushing. I was so tempted to laugh. He looked _cute_. "Shut up, I won't. How could I sit and cry when i have an idiot like you to worry about." He said, smirking. He turned away and left me alone in my room. I stared at my celing, boredly. I didn't really want to sleep. I wasn't tried. My mind started to wander to that book. Who was that America guy anyways? Did I know him? I couldn't rememeber. "Damn memory." I huffed. "If only I could remember..". I slowly slood up, careful of my leg. It still hurt, but I wanted to know. I'm glad Arthur cleaned my room. It made it so much easier to get to the book. And since it was the only thing on the floor, it was easy to see. I picked it up and looked through the pages again. "_April 18th 1775- I started war with Arthur today. I really didn't want it to come to this, but theres no other way to get my feelings across to him. If I win this war, then I'll be my own country and then I can... I can tell him. If he rejects me, then fine. So be it. But I want a chance to tell him... To know that he knows how I feel. I'll do my best to win. Even if he hates me afterwards... it'll be okay._" I felt a little bad for this guy. He wanted to be with Arthur so bad... I wonder if they ever got together. Did he die? Is he away? I went on. _"1777- France decided to help me win against Arthur. I was really losing... So BIG THANKS TO FRANCE~! That guy is an ass but he sure saved me! Arthur is really bitter about me starting this war... I feel kinda bad. Arthur was always so kind.. and yet I turned on him. I don't deserve to say that I love him. So I've decided that I'm going to give up on my love and forget all about my feelings for Arthur. I'll win this war, and go on living as the man he see's me. A traitor._". "Oh.." I mummbled. I looked away from the book to the door. I could slightly see a small englishman sitting on my couch, drinking tea and reading. "He must have been in so much pain..." I said. I was tempted to put down the book, but I kept reading. For a while, there were nothing but battle plans and stupid little notes about France or Arthur. Then, it came to the last note. "_September 3rd, 1783- I saw Arthur cry for the first time, ever today. I've been with Arthur for a long time... and this is was the first time he's ever cried. The war finally ended, and I won. At first he refused to give up. he tried one last time to fight me before falling onto the ground and crying. When he attacked, his face was full of regret and disappointment. And so much pain... SO much pain, it was unbearable to look at._" I paused for a moment. That sounded so familiar... Why though? This guy was named America... so its not like these were my memories... I continued on. "_From today on, I am my own country. I am... free. I finally have that freedom I have longed for, for years! I no longer have someone to judge me, to scold me, to do anything! I am.. free! It's a good feeling. I've actually already chosen a human name!_" I paused again. "_Human name? He wasn't already human? Don't tell me this is the actual country of America..._" I thought. I continued. I stared at the last part in shock. It made me feel sick, sad, and relived at the same time. "_It'll be Alfred Jones_". "What?" I shouted. "My name?".

_Short Short Short... I hate short chapters but that was the only good place to stop ;A; I know this is a pretty boring and un-eventful chapter... but you know, this is getting really hard D: I'm thinking about doing the next chapter from Arthurs POV. I dunno though. We'll just have to wait and see~! OH! and you know all those errors in the first note Alfred wrote? Thats on purpose. I thought that Alfred would be a slow child, so his mistakes would be very noticable~!_


End file.
